Some things just need to be said...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

What a week to miss!

This column will focus on the last couple of weeks beginning with the stunning revelation that occurred at Rideau Hall in Ottawa. Prime Minister Harper announced to us all that Champion Conservative basher David Emerson had decided to join the Harper government without even a hint he would get a cabinet post. Now that takes guts, throw all your convictions out the window and then hope the guy that you are joining in this surprisingly same-ethics marriage will bring you to the alter of power.

Luckily for David Emerson, he did get a cabinet post. Imagine the chances of that. The odds must be somewhere between winning the Lotto 649 and the chances Dick Cheney would shoot someone without using Halerburton as a screen. I have confirmed that even Janet Jones (Gretzky) did not place a bet on this, preferring instead to save one of her husband’s lucky loons for the Olympics.

To top it off an unelected Senator appointed, (by Harper who has referred to the Senate as being illegitimate) to Cabinet says his new cabinet colleague should resign and run again though he himself won’t seek a seat until the next election and legitimate Tory backbencher and self proclaimed financial guru, Garth Turner says Emerson is ethical and so is the Prime Minister, they just goofed here and Emerson should resign and say I’m Tory. Sour grapes maybe?

The week kept going with more Canadian customs agents running from their posts facing another rumour that armed gunmen were headed for Canada. Ever wonder why we can’t keep the guns out of this country. The strangest thing here is that the Conservatives and the Layton NDP agree. They both say arm the borders!

It appears the move by the Conservatives to move ahead and arm them has been stalled over the choice of weapons to provide. The NDP preferring paint ball guns that look real and the Conservatives looking for something similar to Vice President Cheney’s weapon of choice. If anything is to happen here it would seem both sides may have to accept a sawed off version. I don’t suppose the they will agree as to who should supply the shells as Colt Canada, the primary supplier of bullets and shells to police forces is listed as unethical by lefty investors and too Liberal friendly by Conservatives. Halerburton anyone?

Ujjal Dosnajh is sounding indignant these days singing a somewhat different tune than he sung when Saint Belinda crossed the floor to sit beside him. Dosnajh says the people in Vancouver Kingsway have been hoodwinked, something any Liberal would know about.

With all this shooting, gambling and arming border guards one has to wonder if these men are making up for some self felt inadequacy somewhere. The bad news for them out of London England today is that the average extension is only a half-inch. Seems all that spam about getting bigger is all hype, a little like canned Spam, these men are asking “where’s the beef?”

Here in BC the new Conservative cabinet minister responsible for the 2010 Olympics came to town and played street hockey. He stated the government would decide later if they will provide additional money the Olympic committee is requesting. Everyone close to Harper is hoping the games won’t have a deficit since a Montreal Mayor had a baby in 1976. Thankfully perhaps for the BC Olympic committee Harper does not plan on limiting abortion access. Expect Harper to pony up seeing as he doesn’t want to be seen as supporting a pro-choice agenda.

And in the effort to go where no sane North American has gone so far, Ezra Levant, publisher of the wing nut Western Standard has decided to print the infamous cartoons depicting the of the Prophet Muhammad as a terrorist, saying others are hiding behind political correctness and religious sensitivity. Of course that is the same reason I think Harper might be smarter than I thought, choosing not to put Stockwell (Doris) Day in charge of Foreign Affairs.

Add to this is the news that Buzz Hargrove, the man stumping for Liberal Paul Martin in the last federal election is shocked he has had his membership in the NDP suspended. Seems he just wanted to elect some Liberals, a message that ran counter to the efforts of the party whose card he held in his wallet.

Finally there is no truth to the rumour the Conservative party is planning a private viewing of Brokeback Mountain anytime soon. Rumours broke out that this might happen after Alberta MP Myron Thompson stated he was fed up with all this queer talk then found out the movie was made in Alberta using tax incentives provided by the Alberta government. The Alberta Advantage is what you say?

Despite handing over tax incentives to come to Alberta, there is no crowing on the part of the Ralph Klein government about this Oscar destined feature film about two queer cowboys. I wonder how much they ponied up to get this film produced. Ironic eh! What a week!